Often times it is impossible to enjoy the present, to just sit back and take in all the here and now that surrounds us. Instead we ponder over the past or fret over the future. I know because I am one of those people. Don't misunderstand, I love to look back over pictures that we have taken, reread old journal entries and relive precious memories that we have shared together as a family. I have been blessed with four children, each one coming to me in a different way. Anna Kayla, a complete surprise but without a doubt destined to be, delivered very early one morning by a Cesarean section. Such a miracle that I held in my arms that hot summer morning in August almost 25 years ago. My precious daughter, my only child, or so I thought at the time. Then there are my other three...each with their own story that evokes such different emotions within my heart. The day that I finally held Clara Beth in my arms was one of great joy that I had hoped for for over two years. When she came to us she was happy and smiling and completely at peace. Even though I knew the sacrifice that her birth mother had made and part of my heart ached for her it was so easy to be her mother, another daughter, another blessing. If you've noticed I haven't gone in order. Before Land was born I longed for another child, I cried, I prayed and then eleven years later a whisper became another miracle. I didn't labor him here in the usual way but oh how I labored for him in my heart. The day we brought that precious little bundle home was so filled with emotion. My heart was bursting and breaking at the same time. Because this time I knew first hand the sacrifice his birth mother had made. You see I was blessed to be able to talk to her, to see her face and to know the love that she had for her son, a love so great that she wanted more for him than she could give at the time. Her heart was also breaking and I ached for her loss. It's amazing how such joy and sadness can be felt so strongly at once...I witnessed this yet again two years ago this week. The day Emanuiel joined our family was met with joy and anticipation. Since he was three and a half at the time I knew there would be grief but my heart wasn't prepared for how I would deal with his loss. I don't think one can really prepare for such a thing you just have to experience it to understand what I mean. I can still feel the overwhelming sadness even now if I look back at pictures of his first hours with us. Heart warming and heart wrenching all at the same time. So this week as we celebrate his becoming a part of our family I am going to relish the little boy that he is today. One full of happiness, wonder and mischief whose smile warms my heart and fills my soul as does the presence of all of my children. Every moment is such a gift, a gift of the present...that passes all too quickly, savor it, drink it all in. Go ahead there is nothing to fear...enjoy the present.

Until next time...
His "perfect love expels all fear"
1 John 4:18 NLT
Robin

Hop over to Sunday Snapshot to see more.
5 comments:
Hi Robin,
Found you from Sunday Snapshot. Loved your post! It's beautiful!
Anne
Beautifully said. There is such loss inherent with adoption... there is no way to experience the joy of growing your family by adoption, and not also share in the grief of all the losses the child has endured.
The present is a GIFT! Thank you for sharing your heart :)
What a sweet post! And thank you for sharing. I have to confess I am so scared of when SJ knows she is going with us and the fear she will face. I almost can't be excited about the whole thing until we get that done. I can't believe I just confessed that out loud. What a sweet gift you have to celebrate!!!!!!!!! God is so good isn't he???
XO!
Shay
ps know yet if you all can come to the pool party?
Beautiful post. Thanks for that today!
Kelly
www.raudenbushfamily.blogspot.com
www.jiayindesigns.com
Thaks for sharing your wonderful story.
Post a Comment